Welcome back. Catch up on what you missed during Chicago Public Square’s one-day break by skimming the Square account on Bluesky for things like Defense Secretary Hegseth’s “pretty embarrassing” day before Congress, refunds on the way for Chicago-area natural gas customers, and reviews of Bruce Springsteen’s exceptional Chicago show.
■ And now the news for today:
May Day. Protesters nationwide planned demonstrations today under the banner “Workers Over Billionaires” …
■ … including one this afternoon on Chicago’s West Side.
■ Among their asks: Avoid shopping, working and school.
■ Columnist and Air Force veteran Christopher Armitage sarcastically pleads, “Don’t do this to Amazon today on May Day! It would upset them very much and I am definitely not telling you to do that.”
■ Tribune columnist Elizabeth Shackelford (gift link): “The biggest threat of AI is that the bulk of this powerful technology is uniquely within the control of a small cohort of ungovernable men.”
■ Pulitzer winner Dave Barry offers a timely guide on “How to be a billionaire. Or, not.”
Gone in a flash. The AP: “The U.S. Supreme Court knocked out a major pillar of the law that had protected against racial discrimination in voting.”
■ The Daily Show’s Josh Johnson marvels at support for that ruling from Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, “a Black guy from the South … You were like an uncle to all of us! Uncle Clarence Thomas. ‘Uncle Thomas’ for short. ‘Uncle Tom’ for shorter.”
■ The Justice Department’s investigation of the civil rights champion Southern Poverty Law Center has prompted two of the largest donor-advised funds in the U.S.—Fidelity and Vanguard—to cut off donations to the center.
■ Wonkette’s Evan Hurst: “Interchangeable Fox News Blonde Not Racist, She Can’t Even See Black Districts.”
‘We’re just trying to shut that down from the get-go.’ A Chicago City Council member’s pushing an ordinance to forbid city workers from using inside information to place bets on stuff.
■ Chicago’s departing government watchdog, Deborah Witzburg, has a new job as chief of staff to Illinois’ attorney general.
‘Trump has repeatedly said the Iran war is over. It isn’t.’ Former Washington Post fact-checker Glenn Kessler has receipts.
■ Speaking of receipts: Chicago gas prices are now at their highest in four years.
■ Columnist Jeff Tiedrich: “MAGA, it’s your patriotic duty to pay through the nose for gas.”
■ Axios: Chicago’s lakefront parking is getting more expensive.
■ Streetsblog Chicago proprietor John Greenfield praises Block Club for fixing a report about bike lane adjustments along Archer Avenue.
Feeling more secure? The president’s signed bipartisan legislation restoring much funding for Homeland Security—but not immigration enforcement.
■ The Federal Emergency Management Agency’s reinstating workers dismissed after criticizing Trump’s cuts there.
School districts under the microscope. More than 15 of them in Illinois—including Chicago’s Noble charter network—are in the Trump-acquiescent Justice Department’s sights for an investigation of whether they’re imposing “sexual orientation and gender ideology” content on kids.
■ Read the department’s news release here.
■ Oak Park Nerd on Bluesky: “Hey!? What about Oak Park? Feeling a little left out.”
■ Gov. Pritzker remains on the bubble over whether to sign on with a federal tax-credit program that would cover tuition at private schools that discriminate against LGBTQ students and those with disabilities.
‘Flagrant and egregious abuses of power.’ Pritzker’s urging criminal investigation of federal agents’ actions during “Operation Midway Blitz.”
■ Politico: Pressure’s growing for Cook County to take action against immigration enforcers’ misconduct.
■ WBEZ’s Chip Mitchell: When immigration agents arrested a Chicago mother, a stranger stepped in to care for her three kids.
This week, including at least one laugh-out-loud option. Past Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions winner Fritz Holznagel is back in the quizmaster seat for this week’s challenge from The Conversation.
■ Your Square columnist’s score: 7 of 8.
■ All but one correct here on Justin Kaufmann’s May Day quiz about Chicago labor …
■ … and the same on City Cast’s Chicago-centric news quiz.
Apprentice Jr. In another bend of the knee, Amazon executives are reportedly considering rebooting The Apprentice series—starring Donald Trump Jr.
■ Jimmy Kimmel mockingly paraphrases Amazon’s statement: “We’ve had preliminary internal discussions about … how we can best … suckle the president’s teat.”
■ Kimmel’s wife recorded video of herself waking him with news of the president’s latest broadside against him.
■ Later, awake, Kimmel shot back: “If incompetently presiding over not just one of but the lowest rating in history is why I should be fired, we should both be out of a job.”
Now, it’s bipartisan. A couple of Republican state attorneys general have joined Democrats in opposing WGN-TV and Radio parent Nexstar’s proposed takeover of Tegna TV stations.
■ Variety: A handful of streaming subscribers filed a lawsuit challenging the merger of Paramount and Warner Bros., contending it’d mean higher prices and fewer viewing options—on TV and at the movies.
Not so fast. The Chicago-based The Onion’s takeover of the bullshit-spewing Infowars website still isn’t a done deal.
■ The Onion’s executive editor to WTTW: “We want to replace something that’s put out a lot of negative—I’m going to go ahead and call it evil—into the world.”
‘He likes to cosplay as a redneck from Alabama.’ Lyz Lenz’s Dingus of the Week is Kid Rock.
■ One of Kid’s pals, “Take This Job and Shove It” author David Alan Coe, is dead at 86.
You make this happen. Square continues to exist because readers—including Sabrina Deitch (again!), Barbara Heskett, Valerie Stankus (again!), Pat Albu, Tim Woods, Maureen Gannon, Marie Dillon, Kate O’Neill, Judy Karlov, Nina Ovryn, Ellen Cutter, Harla Hutchinson, Anne Rooney, Gene Paquette, Lisa Fritz, Larry Perlman, Al Slater, Jeanne Loshbough, Margaret Meyer, Lizzie Schiffman Tufano, Eileen Lilke, Donna Peel, Christopher Giorno, Mary M. Jeans, Anne Costello, Marjorie Huerta, Michael Kelly, David Painter, Mark Hines, Mike Wean, Another Debbie Becker, Athene C, Ginny Lee-Herrmann, Laurie Huget, Mike Cramer, Maureen and Jerry Peifer and Kaiser, Dominick Suzanne, John Knox, John Culver, John Teets, Christa Velbel, E Larsen, Cathy Schornstein, Denise Joyce, Lisa Krimen, Cate Cahan, Joe Hass, Kent Bridgeman, Werner Huget, Lynne Taylor, Marc Magliari, Jennifer Bartlett, Mark Nystuen, Barry Winograd, Margie Fischer and Carolyn Grisko—have made clear through their financial support that they don’t want it to end.
■ Join their ranks through the weekend—contributing as little as $1, just once—and your name will appear atop Monday’s finale for this seasonal roll call.
■ More generous contributions get you a free Square T-shirt, hoodie or cap.
Corrections. Wednesday’s Square was marred by a couple of glitches:
■ A note on Stop the Presses columnist Mark Jacob’s kind words about this publication in answer to the question “Where do you get your news?” linked to the wrong place in that YouTube video. Here’s the right one.
■ The name of Spider-Man’s deceased girlfriend Gwen Stacy was misspelled. You’d expect better of a guy who got this faxed note from her co-creator Stan Lee in 1998.
■ Mike Braden made this edition better.
