Your ‘Friendly Federal Assassin’ / Conspiracy theories everywhere / ‘HACK THE PLANET’

Your ‘Friendly Federal Assassin.’ That’s how the man accused of opening fire at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner referred to himself in messages that the Associated Press says he sent relatives just before the shooting began.
 The New York Post has published the full text of that “manifesto.”
 Bloomberg: The suspect—who was due in court today—spent years building an arsenal.
 CNN and WXRT News alumnus Charles Jaco: “What he did was wrong … but his observations are 100% sane.”
 Former AP D.C. bureau chief Ron Fournier on what disturbs him most: The language in that note “mirrors so much of what we read and hear online from MAGA lovers and MAGA haters”—and from President Trump himself.
 Columnist Jeff Tiedrich: “If you’re a Democrat … be prepared to apologize, in case some lunatic overhears you. But if you’re Dear Leader, you are forever a Very Special Boy Who Gets To Say And Do Anything He Wants.”

‘Remarkably zen.’ That’s how The New York Times (gift link) describes Trump’s demeanor after the incident …
 … but Axios’ Zachary Basu says the president’s truce with journalists lasted less than 24 hours …
 … crashing to an end as he sat down with CBS’ 60 Minutes.

‘Reporters in formalwear quickly pivoted.’ Poynter’s Tom Jones surveys the work of journalists who shifted from celebration to coverage.
 The AP unwinds a tick-tock of what happened at the Washington Hilton—the scene of a 1981 assassination attempt on President Reagan.
 Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Will Bunch (gift link): “America is growing so numb to political violence that the first instinct of the president and the elite media after an attempted assassination is to sit back down for the next dinner course.”
 CNN’s Victor Blackwell: “The people in that room were confronted with what schoolchildren and moviegoers and congregants and people at grocery stores have been confronted with, and that is the threat of gun violence.”
 The Times (gift link) catches up with the guy dubbed “Salad Man”—for calmly picking at his plate as the mayhem unfolded.

Had things gone differently … With five of the top six officials in the presidential line of succession present Saturday night, law professor Joyce Vance notes it’s not clear who in the administration was the “designated survivor.”
 Investigative journalist Ken Klippenstein: The suspect wasn’t on the FBI’s domestic counterterrorism radar.
 The havoc has law enforcement rethinking security at Trump’s future public events …
 … as Trump and his Justice Department assert it justifies his plans for a $400 million White House ballroom …
 … a position that historian Heather Cox Richardson calls “an odd angle to take.”
 Law Dork Chris Geidner: “Trump’s proposed ballroom would not fix the problem.”
 Former Politico editor Garrett Graff says Congress needs to OK the ballroom, exercising check-and-balance control over “just how extensive the fortifications of the White House end up being. Strong enough to sustain a hostile attack? Absolutely! Strong enough to withstand the end of democracy? Absolutely not.”
 Political analyst Brian Beutler counsels Democrats: “Do not authorize the f@cking ballroom.”

Conspiracy theories everywhere. Wired says the word “staged” exploded on social media Saturday night.
 PolitiFact has had its hands full quashing falsehoods.
 Yes, Snopes confirms, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt did predict there would be “shots fired” at the dinner.

‘Conservatives are supposedly pro-life, and we’re celebrating the deaths of people just because we don’t agree with their politics.’ A veteran Illinois Republican strategist tells Politico why he’s quitting the party.

Cop-killing suspect. Police have charged a 26-year-old man with the shooting that left one Chicago officer dead and another wounded and “fighting for his life” at Swedish Hospital.
 The suspect had been released on parole in January.

Bridges to trouble? A Sun-Times analysis of federal bridge inspection records finds an above-average one in six Chicago bridges in poor condition.
 Got a favorite bridge? Check its specs here.

‘HACK THE PLANET.’ A criminal complaint briefly made public—and spotted by the Tribune before the feds resealed it—says that’s the edict spelled out on a diamond-studded necklace worn by a 19-year-old cyber-hacker charged in Chicago with helping infiltrate big corporations’ computer systems, collecting millions of dollars in ransom.
 Medtronic, manufacturer of pacemakers and other medical devices, says a cyberattack last week didn’t compromise its products or its services to patients …
 …but the data extortion group ShinyHunters claims to have snagged more than 9 million records.
 The AP: As college students scramble to find “AI-proof” majors, no one knows what those are.

‘The march toward extinction continues.’ Award-winning former radio reporter turned media critic Rob Archer quotes another radio veteran as he assesses a potential merger for iHeartMedia and SiriusXM.
 Your Chicago Public Square columnist in a 1998 note to radio colleagues: “Internet startups represent the biggest challenges to … traditional radio.”

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‘Live from the Trump Kimmel Center’ / ‘Day 1 impeachment’ / Quizzes

‘Live from the Trump Kimmel Center …’ With tomorrow’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner going comedian-less for the first time in years, Jimmy Kimmel last night delivered an eight-minute speech including “jokes a comedian might do if our president wasn’t … scared of comedy.”
 The Freedom of the Press Foundation has your bingo card for the president’s dinner speech right here.
 A petition calling on the association to confront directly Trump’s attacks on freedom of speech was closing in on 500 signatories (including this newsletter’s publisher) …
 … even as Politico says D.C.’s in “full celebration mode.”
 Kimmel’s won his first Peabody Award for a season in which his show was yanked off the air under pressure from FCC boss and Trump acolyte Brendan Carr.

Obama + Colbert. Stephen Colbert says that, on May 5, as his show approaches its finale, he’ll broadcast the first interview with Barack Obama from Chicago’s Obama Presidential Center.
 In a fresh round of social media diarrhea overnight, the president called for Obama’s arrest …
 … as he sticks with his idiotic approach to mathematics.

You bet. LateNighter: Prediction markets—a.k.a. gambling companies—are increasingly hosting wagers centered on late-night programming and hosts.
 A U.S. special forces soldier involved with the capture of Venezuela’s president faces charges of using classified information to win a bet about the operation.

Naval gazing. The Daily Show’s Michael Kosta scans the resume of Trump’s acting navy secretary, Hung Cao—who’s expressed fear that Virginia would be overtaken by witches.
 The New York Times (gift link): Cao’s predecessor was asked to resign because he failed to deliver on Trump’s wish for a new class of battleships.
 Patel’s new nickname: “J. Edgar Boozer.”

‘Day 1 impeachment.’ Axios reports that Illinois U.S. Rep. Delia Ramirez is at the forefront of a Democratic movement to begin now building a fresh case against Trump so they can get right down to it if they retake the House in November.
 The American Prospect: Congress has become almost totally irrelevant.”
 Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Will Bunch (gift link) on the call for a general U.S. strike a week from today to protest Trump’s reign: “Look at this action as the beginning of something. Where it ends is up to us, the people.”
 Law professor Joyce Vance calls the Justice Department’s indictment of the Southern Poverty Law Center “a critical moment in the administration’s war on democracy.”

 The Times (gift link): A lawyer launched a newsletter to warn about AI’s dangers. If only his dad had listened.
 Columnist and former U.S. Rep. Marie Newman on Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s decision to end the military’s flu-shot mandate: “Even George Washington knew he needed to vaccinate his troops.”

Weekly Dingus. Lyz Lenz’s pick: “The Ivan the Terrible of streaming. The Damien of YouTube. His government name is James Stephen Donaldson. But you know him … as MrBeast” …
 … whose company’s being sued on grounds of sexual harassment.

Who knew you were such tough quizzers? With The Conversation’s quizmaster, past Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions winner Fritz Holznagel, taking the week off, readers devised this week’s eight questions …
 … only five of which your Chicago Public Square columnist got right.
 In honor of International Jazz Day, which will reunite Chicago’s jazz radio icons Sunday, Axios’ Justin Kaufmann’s assembled a Chicago jazz quiz …
 … on which the guy to the left scored a middling 8/10 correct.

Independent together. More than 80 Chicago-area retailers tomorrow mark Independent Bookstore Day with a Chicagoland Bookstore Crawl.
 The decaying Ford City Mall’s losing its last anchor store, JCPenney …
 … but the mall itself has been granted at least a three-week reprieve.

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